


A Dressing, er, Pressing Concern

by sunnynights



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: Crossdressing, Dumb Plans, F/M, Fluff, Friendship, Gen, Hanging Out, No Plot, Siblings, emon goofs, they're just being idiots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-01
Packaged: 2021-02-28 01:45:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,086
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22975675
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnynights/pseuds/sunnynights
Summary: This is what happens when you leave Vox Machina alone in Greyskull Keep for too long
Relationships: Keyleth/Vax'ildan (Critical Role), Vax'ildan & Vex'ahlia (Critical Role)
Comments: 3
Kudos: 73





	A Dressing, er, Pressing Concern

Vax squinted and pulled away from the brush that nearly entered his eye.

"I told you not to move!" Keyleth groaned from behind him. "You're fucking up the braid." She pulled his hair tight, roughly straightening his head.

"Well, Pickle here is trying to blind me."

Pike wobbled on the stool she stood on, straining to reach Vax's face and apply eyeshadow. "Sorry!" she said sheepishly.

Vex rolled her eyes. "Gods, can you stop complaining for one second? We do this shit every day."

"Don't do too much blush, I don't want to look like a prostitute."

His sister smacked him on the head with the brush, sending a cloud of pink powder into the air. "Don't say you'll look like a whore, you're dressing as me!"

"Right, remind me again why I'm doing that."

"Because Grog and Percy are _idiots_."

Earlier that morning, there had been an incident in Percy's lab involving an argument and a flask of Sovereign Glue. Percy and Grog refused to explain what exactly happened, but it left them a little...permanently stuck together. Gilmore could make a universal solvent but it would take a few days. Guardian Tofor Brotoras, a silver dragonborn on the Tal'Dorei Council (and thus used to their shenanigans), reluctantly gave them a vial containing oil of etherealness. It supposedly would help dissolve the bond, though they never found out because Scanlan dropped it within ten minutes of it being handed to him. So naturally, the best course of action was to break into her home and steal another one.

"I'm literally a rogue. Why the fuck aren't I doing the sneaking and disarming traps?"

"Don't talk." Vex uncapped a lipstick and began painting his frown red. "She's the Master of Defense, you wouldn't get three feet in. We don't need to sneak anywhere if you keep her distracted. She's got a little bit of a crush on me." Vex tossed her hair and winked. "Can you blame her? So you, dressed as me, are going to flirt your little heart out. Pike and Keyleth will be out front, distracting the guards on the perimeter with baked goods. I'll take Scanlan on my broomstick around the anti-spell field, shove him through the panel on the second floor, and we'll be out with the oil in a flash."

"Is it too early to say Jenga?"

A knock came at the door. "Can I come in?" Scanlan called. "I'm tired of babysitting Jekyll and Hyde here."

Pike jumped down from her perch and opened the door. Scanlan collapsed into her arms. Percy and Grog slowly backed into the room after him. Percy had one hand stuck to his own hip and the other on Grog's chest. Grog's hand was stuck to Percy's forehead, and in his free hand he held a turkey leg.

"What's a jackal hide?" Grog asked, happily tearing into the meat.

Percy winced at the bits of food falling into his hair. "It's a literary reference, an old bard's tale." He looked at Vex with pleading eyes. "Please tell me you're ready."

Vex pulled Vax's chin up to marvel at her handiwork. "I think we're done." She stepped aside to give the group a full view of the twins standing side by side, even more identical than before.

"Holy shit," Scanlan stared. "You look hot."

Grog chewed as he thought carefully. "You need more padding in the titties."

Keyleth returned with a tall mirror, giving Vax his first look at himself. A silky, low cut blue dress with sheer sleeves and a slit coming up the side. A high braid with owlbear feathers behind the ear. Throat adorned with delicate chains and jewels. Soft pink cheeks, dramatic smoky eyes, full red lips.

Keyleth flushed and shivered as Vax gave his reflection a practice wink. "Is it weird that this is doing something for me?"

"Me too," Percy breathed, earning himself a stiff elbow to the ribs from Vex.

"Enough ogling, everyone." she huffed. "The plan has just barely begun."

Vax smirked. "Are you jealous that I'm the prettier sister?"

Vex snorted. "Hardly."

He did a spin, letting the fabric of the dress flare and swish around his ankles, and rested his hands on his hips. "Percy, which one of us is prettier?"

Percy, acutely aware of all the eyes on him, tried to hide his face behind Grog's massive arm. "I don't believe in pitting siblings against each other. Vex'halia has countless virtues beyond her unmatchable beauty."

Keyleth laughed. "Quick thinking, Percy. You just saved yourself from a night on the couch."

Vex stuck her tongue out. “I’m not _that_ shallow. He would have slept with Trinket.”

"Good news, friends!" The unmistakable voice of Gilmore came down the halls of Greyskull Keep. "I was just in Westruun and I was able to pick up some universal solvent. Cost a..." He stopped at the door, jar in hand, looking curiously at Vax. "So, does this have anything to do with Percy and Grog's problem, or was it just a dress kind of day?"

Vex threw her hands in the air. "Well, fuck! We had a plan and everything."

Gilmore stepped into the room, making a point of ignoring Scanlan reaching for the jar. He grinned at Vax. "Not sure what your plan was, but you've certainly succeeded in making me a little interested in women. No one's done that in, well... Ever."

Pike patted Grog's knee. "Ok buddy, time to get you unstuck."

Gilmore uncorked the jar, filling the room with the strong scent of alcohol. Grog turned towards it, bringing Percy's face with him. "Oh shit, if we're not breaking into the Cloudtop, let's get drunk!"

" _After_ separating us, please." Percy quickly added.

Pike and Gilmore ushered the adhered pair out of the room. Scanlan followed, consoling a grumbling Vex. _"Spent all day making a goddamn plan and we don't even get to use it."_

Keyleth leaned into Vax's ear. "So are you, uh, keeping all this on?"

He struck a pose, flashing his leg through the slit dramatically. "Why, would you prefer if I did?"

She blushed bright red and looked away, the tips of her ears matching her hair. "I just, I mean, if you wanted to..."

“Gods, you’re cute.” Vax pulled her close, his hand on her cheek. "If I kiss you now, is this going to create a big crisis of identity for you?"

"Uh yeah, probably."

He grinned. "Wouldn't be the first time," he murmured as his lips fell into hers.

**Author's Note:**

> the beauty of being a writer is sometimes your brain conjures really complex exchanges and interesting plots, and other times it just screams VAX IN A DRESS over and over again


End file.
